On the second day, I am supposed to tell you all of my kinks……Obviously, I liked the submissive act of BDSM. I really love having someone tell me what to do to them, sexually. As strange as this may sound, I find it very freeing to have my partner tell me what to do to them. In no way am I saying that I can’t come up with creative and interesting things to do to my partner; I rather enjoyed the time that I applied pineapple rings and chocolate sauce to my partner’s cock, and ate and licked him like the best ice cream sundae that you could imagine. But, when I’m being told what to do, I am able to turn off all of the guilt and issues from my teenage and early adult years.
I’ve found that humiliation is often a part of D/s relationships; humiliation is a hard limit for me. I grew up with an abusive father, and was raped; it’s a horrible combination to be sexually abused, and then have your abusive father call you a whore. However, I like it when the person refers to me as their personal whore. I guess because a whore in my mind will do anything sexually, and of course if I’m their personal whore I’m not out screwing around.
Although, that moves into the area of one of my other kinks. I want to be fucked by three guys at one time. I want to have a cock working it’s way in and out of every whole at the same time. I don’t know what it is about that scenario, but my nipples are getting hard as I type. I also would like to have a threesome with a man and a woman. I had the opportunity to lavish a pair of breasts last summer, and it is one of the most erotic experiences that I’ve ever had. Due to location issues, we weren’t able to do anything more than that, but it hasn’t stopped me from watching lesbian porn, picturing my partner from that day and leaving my hand soaking wet with cum ***blushing***.
I want to be spanked, no I NEED to be spanked. I have a vanilla partner, but there are days when I desperately crave having swats to my ass. I could be exepreincing something that is emotionally overwhelming, such as having something trigger the fact that my father died last fall, and I physically feel the need for the pain. It will help me get to the point where I am able to cry and express my saddness, so that it doesn’tt keep gnawing at me.
I also crave being spanked in a sexual manner; I often picture myself bent over thee side of a bed or on all fours getting spanked. I see myself being whipped and into between each swat having my partner finger me; my partner will start out with one finger and build up to fisting me…..I’ve not had this experience yet, but if I was asked the answer would be a definite: YES, PLEASE!
I also like orgasm control, this is one thing that my partner will do for me…and I LOVE IT! I love the way the need keeps getting greater and greater, until I will almost promise to do anything, if I’m allowed to cum. And when I do cum, it’s good to have a pillow around because it’s long and loud after being controlled. I also like when my partner uses anal beads on me, and is performing nipple play. There’s just someting about having my nipples pulled, twisted, pinched or an item clamped onto them that zaps straight to my pussy.
I communicate with a Dom online, I’ve tried not to but there are days when I need what a Dom gives me, and I can’t focus or concentrate until I get it. We generally communicate a feew times a day, and he knows how to get me wet and keep me that way. I’ve not mentionedd it to my partner, but sometimes my Dom gets me so worked up I’m ready to attack my partner. I actually think it makes me a better partner in my vanilla relationship; when my submissive needs are being met I rub my partner’s back every night, listen to everything he says attentively, and he loves the blow jobs that he receives.
- Day 1 of My 30 Days of Kink (themusingsofasub.wordpress.com)