Day 3 in My 30 Days of Kink

A BDSM-style collar that buckles in the back. ...

A BDSM-style collar that buckles in the back. This was a featured picture of Lady Byron (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Day 3: How did you discover you were kinky?
I think that my first clear inkling that I might have a kinky side was when I was around 20, bless the invention of chat ;). Since that period, I have always openly discussed my desire to be with another woman, with my partner. My other kinky desires weren’t something that I would admit to myself until about two years ago, and a year ago to my partner.
For Valentine’s Day (2 yrs ago), I received a Nook and was able to indulge in all types of erotica. I realized I was kinky, when I noticed that every-time I read a book about BDSM or a threesome I got wet. Really wet. Even though these things aroused me, it wasn’t until the beginning of last year that it became a NEED. By that, I mean I began to feel like BDSM was an aspect that I had to have in my life. When I tried to deny it to myself, I found that the need became greater. However, I wasn’t really sure that if I WAS kinky or if it was just something that I found interesting.
Well, lets just say that I saw the light after I’d convinced my partner to experiment, and he didn’t seem to enjoy it. When I found myself searching for a way to have a D/s relationship online, I knew that it was more than something that I found intriguing. But, I recently hadn’t had any form of D/s relationship for 6 months. I realized that I felt like there was something missing from my life, like I wasn’t complete or being the person who I truly am, and that’s when I knew that I was kinky.
I struggle with my need for a D/s relationship on a constant basis; my husband is not a Dom, and I don’t know that I can ever see him in that light. I LOVE HIM, but it doesn’t decrease my need for a D/s relationship. Believe me, I’ve spent a lot of time trying to analyze these things lately. But as a Dom I know put it, it doesn’t really matter why I’m this way; the need is there, and I can’t deny it. So I guess that’s how I know I’m kinky….although, if there’s a Dom who feels the need to test it out, I’ll gladly let him spank me ;).

7 thoughts on “Day 3 in My 30 Days of Kink

  1. 🙂 E-mail me if you want me to send you my first two books. I think you might enjoy them, after having read some of your posts.

    I would love nooks and kindles simply for the fact that they allow women to secretly indulge in erotica… it happens that they are helpful tools, beyond that trait, but… yay for secret erotica!


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