PEACE WHEN YOU’RE AWAKE (or the poetic response to why I can’t sleep from the other day)


Seeing the blood pouring from the cuts, somehow cleanses the soul
The sadness and hurt all fade away with the first nick of the skin
Razor blade, glass, metal from a soda can,box cutters all bring about an easing of the pain
When the body and soul can find no other outlet for release
The flow of your blood more powerful than any rain
There’s something comforting about the feel of piercing your skin
Perhaps it comes from knowing that you are the one in control of the current pain
And that through this one act, you regain some of your power back
Knowing that in someway you become tougher from this experience
Just like the scarring that makes it tougher to cut through your skin
You gain a type of emotional scaring around your heart
An added layer of protection from the memories of abuse that still slip into your dreams
A tool to use during your waking hours, when the memories are too strong for you to fight
A desperate act of sacrifice, begging to have a dreamless night
The word dream doesn’t begin to describe what happens once you’re asleep in your bed
For it’s this time when you have no control over the image that plays in your head
It’s this time when you’re only goal is not to wind up dead
What will it be tonight, his hands around your neck
That’s why you have to make the red line appear
It’s such a minuscule sacrifice for you to make

At this point, you’d almost do anything to be at peace when you’re awake

Disclaimer: This piece is in no way meant to encourage self-harm



Copyright Bisublivinginvanillaworld 5/18/12

All Rights Reserved.  This cannot be copied in whole

or in part without the author’s sole express permission.

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