Struggling with My Submission

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I find myself struggling with my submission, well maybe that’s not exactly the right way to describe it. I find myself struggling with my need to be submissive. I was always taught to stand up for myself and that I didn’t need a man for anything; combine that with the embarrassment that was ingrained in my brain about sex, and frankly it’s surprising that I’m not a virgin locked in a tower.
Lately, I have found myself envisioning being curled up at the feet of a Dom, and even having him stroke my hair. Or, I picture myself in a position where I’m offering myself to him. This scares the fuck out of me! I’m not sure what scares me the most about these things, if it’s the amount of trust that I’m turning over or if it’s the fact that I actually find myself craving to be submissive to him. By no means do I feel the need to be submissive to everyone, but I can’t describe the way I feel when I know I’ve done something that pleased him.

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5 thoughts on “Struggling with My Submission

  1. Definitely! Once I’m able to get to the point where I don’t care what other’s think, it’ll be easier. I’ve heard my mom’s stories of segregation, and obviously I’ve experienced racial discrimination; I feel like I’m letting the people who fought so hard for my right’s down. But, I can’t deny that part of myself anymore, either.

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