Masturbation

English: masturbation masc. Español: masturbac...

English: masturbation masc. Español: masturbacion masculina (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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Okay, I’m putting it all out there at you’re finger tips….What are your views on discussing this w/your children? Should you discuss with them, if so, when’s the right age?
I’m asking because I was told my discussion with my kids was inappropriate…I DIDN’T GIVE A FREAKING DEMONSTRATION OR WHIP OUT SEX TOYS!!!! I merely wanted them to know its an option, and that there’s nothing wrong with it. I got pregnant when I was 18; my life could be so different if I wasn’t a mom at 19. Now, I’m at a point in my life where I want to delve in, enjoy & discover my sexual self….perhaps, I wouldn’t be so unsatisfied if I’d “sowed my wild oats”…..

My oldest is 18, and has lived with her father & his family since she was 11 ( it’s always fun battling against a family full of attorneys). I tried to talk with her about it, and when I knew she was sexually active I offered to buy “sex toys” for her. Needless to say, she is expecting my first grandchild on Christmas Eve (yep, 6 days after I turn 38). Yesterday,she said she wishes she had taken me up on my offer last yr before she started college. In less than a year, she went from starting college a year early to being pregnant.I have always spoken openly & honestly with the two kids who I share with my spouse; they know that I don’t want them to get pregnant at a young age, and that I would be supportive if it occurred. But honestly, if I’d known how great it could feel to masturbate I would’ve never left my house ;)! Okay, okay, I would’ve left the house but I also would’ve known that I could create my own HAPPY ENDING.

When I was in Fifth Grade, my father ‘caught’ me masturbating, it was one of the worst experiences ever. Not only did he make me feel horrible that day, but he used it against me on a regular basis. It was the reason he searched my things, called me a whore and threatened to kill me on a regular basis, tore my clothes off of me.  Those things have stuck with me over the past 25 yrs, but I am determined not to repeat those things.

I want my kids to know that masturbation is a wonderful thing, that can be done with or without a partner.

One stp forward & two steps back

Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women'...

Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women’s Sexual Fantasies (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This past week has been a roller coaster ride of confusion & turmoil. Oddly enough, last Sunday ended with my husband & I have a huge argument. He told me have gave me permission to have the open marriage that I wanted…but guess what??? My ass was shocked, shocked that he’d actually told me that I could see other people & I was shocked because I wasn’t overcome with joy.

The weird thing about being a relationship with someone for half of your lifetime & ALL of your adult life, is that your entire life seems to revolve around your memories with this person. Well, at least that’s how it is in my case. I love this man, he as seen me at my worst & instead of running as fast as he could in the other direction, on one occasion he actually hitchhiked over 70 miles to be with me at the hospital. When I had the chance to study in Japan, this is the person who took care of my three year old so I could go.

I feel indebted to him, but to what degree do I owe him? For the past four years, we have essentially switched roles. I have become the backbone & tried to provide him with the same type of support. When he didn’t listen to me & chose to move by my abusive parent, I tried to go with the flow. He’d started a new job and seemed unhappy; I ignored the hurtful stories that he passed along from my dad. When I saw us drifting apart, I even made arrangements for a friend to watch our kids so we could have some alone time.

He switched jobs and hated it even more than the other job; I tried my damnedest to be supportive, I didn’t even complain about having to load the kids into the car at 5:30 in the morning to drop him off at work. Hell. I didn’t even bitch when he worked EVERY fucking holiday. But, by this time we’d started to really grow apart…no matter how many times I told him I wanted to study writing, he insisted I enroll in a program at our local college.

Fast forward to last week and we’ve grown so far apart that I didn’t even want him to touch me. On Monday, we had a more civil conversation about our relationship status & he’d agreed to an open relationship. He’d also agreed to go to therapy, he starts in a few hours. But, I’m still in pain because of things he’s done & said; I don’t know how to get past them, and he’s excuse tht it’s not his normal character just doesn’t cut it. There’s been no real apology & I don’t think I can move past these things until I feel he’s sincerely sorry.

Surprise. Surprise..he’s not REALLY willing to allow me to have an open relationship. He’s just willing to say that it’s okay. I’ve discovered its okay, as long as I don’t actually talk to someone else….

SAVING sunni by Kasi & Reggie Alexander

This looks like an interesting book for all my Kinky friends 😉

Black Hippie Chick's Take On Books & The World

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Blurb:
Jessie Chambers—“Sunni” to the local BDSM community—needs to grow up. Her master, Sir Rune, has told her to get a job. Her sister slave sage is struggling through college, serious as ever. Sunni goes to the local goth/kink store, The Fringe Element, and is immediately embraced by its quirky owner as the newest member of her “little family.” But almost immediately things start to get complicated. Sunni’s ex shows up, claiming he’s found God and that God wants them to get back together. A video of Sunni and Sir Rune doing a scene at the club winds up on television and all kinds of trouble ensues. Sunni must figure out a way to restore her relationships, keep her master from getting deported, take over running the store, and stop everybody else from trying to “save Sunni.”

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Saving sunni
by Kasi Alexander and Reggie Alexander

Chapter 1
The…

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