The Payment Series
CASSANDRA CARR

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Prized: The Payment series, part 1
After agreeing to a one-year term of service with a benefactor who can pay her debt, Catrina Carter begins training in how to please a man. But will a benefactor be willing to spend such an astronomical sum-one hundred and fifty thousand dollars-just to have her for a year? She’s about to find out.

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Possessed: The Payment series, part 2
Jared, Catrina’s “benefactor”, has agreed to pay off her debt in exchange for one year of service to him. In addition to taking his own pleasure with her, Jared offers Catrina to friends, colleagues, and even total strangers on his whim. But it’s not all fun and pleasure for Jared. As part of the agreement, he’s tasked with helping Catrina get her life back on track. He’ll succeed even if he has to spank every piece of financial information into her, and he finds he just might have to do that.
 

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Purgatory: The Payment series, part 3
Catrina has finished her year-long term of service to Jared, her benefactor, who paid all her debt off. Now she’s on her own again. Will she be able to keep the lessons Jared literally spanked into her topmost in her mind, or will old habits rear their designer heads?

Author bio
Cassandra Carr is a multi-award winning erotic romance writer with Ellora’s Cave, Sybarite Seductions/Twenty or Less Press, Decadent Publishing, Siren Publishing, and Loose Id. She lives in Western New York with her husband, Inspiration, and her daughter, Too Cute for Words. When not writing she enjoys watching hockey and hanging out online. Cassandra is the co-founder of two successful group blogs, Romancing the Jock and Dirty Birdies, and participates in several others as a contributor. Currently Cassandra also serves as president of Western New York Romance Writers.
For more information about Cassandra, check out her  website,  “like” her  Facebook fan page  or follow her on  Twitter .

Links:
Website:  http:// www.booksbycassandracarr.com Facebook:  http:// www.facebook.com/AuthorCassandraCarr
Twitter:  http:// http://www.twitter.com/cassandra_carr Pinterest:  http://pinterest.com/booksbycasscarr/

Cha-Cha-Cha-Changes

As you can tell if you’ve been reading my posts, I am in the middle of combining several blogs that I started. I will now be posting erotic book and toy reviews on my blog. I’m excited about becoming a sex toy reviewer ;). I will also be posting pieces that I’ve written or am currently working on. Most Importantly: I will be blogging about BDSM, Daddy/babygirl Relationships, Polyamory, and Getting Your Kink On When You Have a Disability.

I will also be starting a question and answer segment, so if there any questions about BDSM that you’ve been dying to ask since you read 50 Shades, then I’m your girl. I will caution you though, and say that bdsm in the real world isn’t “really” like 50 Shades. There are a ton of different relationships that fall under the BDSM umbrella, and then there are people who just like to get freaky every once in a blue moon.

I have Multiple Sclerosis, and seeing as how this is MS Awareness month I decided to checkout the resources available to us kinky disabled folks. Sadly, there wasn’t as many as I’d hoped & some that looked promising had simply died out. So, I feel like I need to take one for the team and be the “Official Disabled Sexy Toy Testing Goddess”. I will do my duty & serve my community proudly; I will face the day, one toy at a time ;).

I will also be discussing polyamory, because I have recently begun a poly relationship. If someone had asked me about being poly five years ago, I would have looked at them like they were crazy. I’ve changed a lot in that time. I’ve learned that it’s important to be loved unconditionally & be happy, for me that happens to be as a member of a triad…and Daddy’s babygirl. Image

Wave of the Tail

I will be writing much more either later today, or tomorrow. I will see that some pretty big changes have occurred in my life recently. I am still with my Daddy Dom, but I’ve also met someone (or more) that is playing an important role in my life. I can’t wait to tell you ALL about it, but I definitely need to get a little sleep first.

Phoenix Rising…I hope ;)

I’m sure most of you knew that a divorce was in my future, surprisingly from my perspective it didn’t really have anything to do with my need/desire to incorporate BDSM into my life. My husband and I grew apart. He became so wrapped up in his goal to complete his Master’s Degree, he put everything else on the back burner. No one, or nothing was as important as what he was doing….at least to him, and it hasn’t only been his relationship with me that has suffered.

I got pregnant with my oldest daughter at 18, during my second year of college. I started dating my husband shortly before she was born, I was 19. I have & haven’t been on my own before so I’m a little nervous about what it will be like once our divorce is final. I know you’re trying to figure out how it’s possible to be & not to be on my own, so I will try to explain. I grew up in a house where abuse occurred. A week after my 16th birthday, my father beat me with a baseball bat. The next week on New Year’s, my resolution was to never let him hit me again. I’ve been in shelters, foster care, group homes, a runaway so I have been in situations where I was on my own. The difference is that I didn’t have anyone else to take care of, and I can’t screw this up.

I am still a submissive, I know that now more than ever. I also know that I can only be submissive with the right person. I have a better understanding of what my limits are than I did a year ago, and I know that I am much stronger than I once thought. A lot of people think that D/s relationships are all about sex, but in my case I know that it’s about trust, love, caring and commitment.

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One stp forward & two steps back

Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women'...

Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women’s Sexual Fantasies (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This past week has been a roller coaster ride of confusion & turmoil. Oddly enough, last Sunday ended with my husband & I have a huge argument. He told me have gave me permission to have the open marriage that I wanted…but guess what??? My ass was shocked, shocked that he’d actually told me that I could see other people & I was shocked because I wasn’t overcome with joy.

The weird thing about being a relationship with someone for half of your lifetime & ALL of your adult life, is that your entire life seems to revolve around your memories with this person. Well, at least that’s how it is in my case. I love this man, he as seen me at my worst & instead of running as fast as he could in the other direction, on one occasion he actually hitchhiked over 70 miles to be with me at the hospital. When I had the chance to study in Japan, this is the person who took care of my three year old so I could go.

I feel indebted to him, but to what degree do I owe him? For the past four years, we have essentially switched roles. I have become the backbone & tried to provide him with the same type of support. When he didn’t listen to me & chose to move by my abusive parent, I tried to go with the flow. He’d started a new job and seemed unhappy; I ignored the hurtful stories that he passed along from my dad. When I saw us drifting apart, I even made arrangements for a friend to watch our kids so we could have some alone time.

He switched jobs and hated it even more than the other job; I tried my damnedest to be supportive, I didn’t even complain about having to load the kids into the car at 5:30 in the morning to drop him off at work. Hell. I didn’t even bitch when he worked EVERY fucking holiday. But, by this time we’d started to really grow apart…no matter how many times I told him I wanted to study writing, he insisted I enroll in a program at our local college.

Fast forward to last week and we’ve grown so far apart that I didn’t even want him to touch me. On Monday, we had a more civil conversation about our relationship status & he’d agreed to an open relationship. He’d also agreed to go to therapy, he starts in a few hours. But, I’m still in pain because of things he’s done & said; I don’t know how to get past them, and he’s excuse tht it’s not his normal character just doesn’t cut it. There’s been no real apology & I don’t think I can move past these things until I feel he’s sincerely sorry.

Surprise. Surprise..he’s not REALLY willing to allow me to have an open relationship. He’s just willing to say that it’s okay. I’ve discovered its okay, as long as I don’t actually talk to someone else….